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Amy K Fewell | Homesteading for the Kingdom

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10 Things You Should Never Say to a Homesteader

March 30, 2015 · In: homesteading

 

When we first started our homesteading journey, I was constantly amazed by some of the things people said. Not just from those who don’t understand self-sufficiency, but also from those who are just like us. We are in competition with no one. We love this lifestyle, because it suits us. And we never want to be judgmental to those who don’t enjoy the same lifestyle that we do. If you truly knew me personally, then you would see the beautiful array of colors and religions and lifestyles of friends that I have, and I love them all the same!

It’s always a good thing to taste your words before spitting them out. And other times, it’s nice to put yourself in someone else’s shoes before thinking their life is a walk in the park. The moral of the story? Think before you speak, and show more grace than necessary…because ultimately, none of us “have it all together”


Here are 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Homesteader…..

(there are a ton more, but these are some of the ones I could think of today!)

If You’re a Non-Homesteader:

1. “You mean, you eat that?”
Yes, because I’ve seen where that chicken from the grocery store that is sitting on your plate comes from, and I would rather lick my backyard than eat what you’re eating. Oh, and my kid helps me process my food, too!

The sad reality is that if you truly knew where your food came from, what was inside of it, and how it was processed, you probably wouldn’t eat it either. Fermenting, curing, and butchering your own food is a lost art — we simply want to revive it and teach others just how simple and rewarding it is. And in the long run, it’s much healthier for you.

2. “Don’t you think you have enough animals?”

No. Enough said. Don’t you think you have a boring life without farm animals?

3. “You don’t own a farm, you just have a bunch of backyard animals.”
Well, that depends on who you’re talking to. But no one who owns farm animals “just” has a bunch of farm animals in their backyard. Believe it or not, we do have to take care of them properly…whether we live on a 1/4 acre or 100 acres.
4. “I don’t understand why you can’t just be normal.”
Yes, I’ve actually had this said to me, multiple times, when it comes to homesteading. Tell me, where on earth is the definition of “normal”? Who got to define what “normal” was? Because if you put 10 people in a room and ask them what a “normal” person is, you’d probably get 10 different answers. Let’s stop being so judgmental, please. Because my “normal” is living off the land just like my “normal” ancestors did. If anything, the modern world is completely abnormal.
5. “Don’t you need a rooster for your chickens to lay eggs?”
*face palm*
If You’re a Fellow Homesteader:
1. “I don’t get to stay home during the day and homestead. I have to work a real job too, so it’s harder for me.”

No, it’s not harder for you. It’s the same exact thing that we are doing but on a different time schedule. The reality is that we’re all in this together, and if we’re simply going to pick and choose who has the “harder” job, then we’re completely missing the whole reason as to why we do what we do.

With that said, I completely understand. If I were just homesteading with a few animals and had a full time job, I wouldn’t think much of it. But we homestead, homeschool, and I work from home during the week. There are not enough hours in the day to do everything that I want to do. However, I make it work. Why? Because I love this lifestyle, whether it’s at 9 a.m. or 11 p.m..

 
 
2. “Will you take $20 for this $100 animal?”
 
When I first started my photography business, I literally gave my talent away. And I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t realistic. So I learned early on in our homestead adventure that I just couldn’t give things away (with some exceptions), and I needed to put a quality price on my time and our animals. Otherwise, I’d “give” myself right out of homesteading…it’s not something we would be able to support with just giving things away. However, we do give many things away when we feel led to.
It is insulting when someone offers less than 75% of what you’re asking. If I were to say “make me an offer, any offer will do”, then certainly. But if I’m saying “let’s see what we can work out”…absolutely not. I work just as hard as you do — would you take that from someone else? I doubt it. Wheel and deal by all means (and barter, even!), but try your hardest not to make an offer that is a complete waste of my time and effort.
 
 
3. “Why doesn’t your husband just do that?”
 

This is woman specific, because I hear it ALL of the time.

My answer? Because I have a husband who was caring enough to tell me a long time ago to learn how to do things on my own in case something ever happened to him and I had to take care of our family all by myself. Yes, he helps. But the uprising of women farmers is inspiring, and rightfully so. The average age of the Virginian farmer is 60 years old, who is going to take his or her place when they are gone? We (women) care about farming, homesteading, raising healthy families and our food system just as much as, if not more than, most men. I take joy in taking care of, breeding, and processing our animals. And he takes joy in the building of hutches, garden beds, and other handyman things that need done. And yes, he does sneak some cuddles in with the ducks every now and then….don’t let his burly manhood fool you!

 
 
4. “Why don’t you make EVERYTHING from scratch?”

Because there is not enough time in the day to make everything from scratch…let’s be honest here. And whether you realize it or not, you don’t make everything from scratch either. I do not have enough time during the week to make soap, laundry detergent, dish liquid, homemade meals from scratch every single day (bfast, lunch and dinner), my own clothing, blah blah blah. However, I try my hardest to do what I can in the time frame that I have. And the stuff that doesn’t get done….I absolutely love supporting my fellow homestead friends and crunchy momma’s who do these things!! We’re all on this journey together, and that means we get to support each others businesses and talents as well!


5. “I don’t know how you do it all.”

I don’t. I don’t do it all. I have days when I fail, big time. I have days when I just want to give up. I have days when I realize I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I have days when I feel alone in this journey and like I’m the only one who cares (and then my husband goes out and buys organic ketchup and I remember he is just as committed as I am). I have days when I compare myself to other moms or homesteaders. I have days when I sit on real estate websites and day dream of what we “could” have, but then I realize I am so blessed to have what we DO have. I’m just like everyone else, I just package it differently…..

By: Amy K. Fewell · In: homesteading · Tagged: 10 things to never say, chickens, don't say this, homesteading

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I'm Amy. I love organic food but I love cookies too. I love Jesus and His grace. I believe broken people make the biggest impact in the world when Jesus makes them whole, and when they share their stories. I believe in stories, and I'm sharing mine.

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@amy.fewell

The headline sounds revolutionary: “Trump Signs Or The headline sounds revolutionary: “Trump Signs Order to Help Ranchers Bypass USDA-Inspected Processing Facilities.”

But what does the executive order actually do?

It directs the USDA to:

• Investigate unfair or monopolistic practices in the meatpacking industry.

• Review regulations and remove unnecessary reporting and overly prescriptive inspection requirements where current law allows.

• Expand cooperative inspection programs that let qualifying state-inspected processors sell meat across state lines.

• Provide training and technical assistance to small processors.

• Help farmers locate slaughter and processing options.

• Work toward a guaranteed-loan program for small and regional processors.

• Report within 60 days on the laws preventing state-inspected or custom-exempt meat from entering interstate commerce.

These may be worthwhile steps, or not. Processing consolidation has left family farmers with fewer choices, longer wait times, higher costs, and less control over the food they raise.

But here is the important part:

This order does NOT immediately give farmers a new legal right to butcher their livestock and sell that meat directly to consumers, especially across state lines. It does not eliminate federal inspection requirements or make custom-exempt meat legal for interstate commerce.

The order repeatedly states that USDA must act “consistent with applicable law.” An executive order can direct an agency to use authority it already has, but it cannot erase or rewrite federal statutes.

For lasting change, Congress must pass laws creating a clear, lawful path for family farmers and small processors to feed their communities. We’ve said this before—we aren’t fixing this in 4 years without a miracle—pass the Farm Bill!

A farmer selling meat directly to an informed neighbor is not the same as an industrial corporation distributing millions of pounds through a national supply chain. Our laws should recognize that difference.

This order may open a door and identify the barriers. But it does not finish the work.

Executive action may begin the conversation.

LEGISLATION is what can make the change real, durable, and firmly rooted.
There is something that happens when someone passe There is something that happens when someone passes away and they were impactful in, or upon, your life. As you sit with the thought that the breath of life—the space—that this person had in this world no longer exists, you find you want to be a little more like them in your own space. 

When my grandmother died, I wanted to remember all the best things about her. Her unconditional kindness. Her ability to remain calm. How she would sing and pray all the time in her home. I haven’t even remotely attained those character traits yet, but I’m getting there.

You think of someone like the great agrarian and writer, Wendell Berry. His convictions drove him to do and write in a certain way. He didn’t just talk about what he believed—he did it. And it makes my convictions stronger as I think about what he stood for, how he wrote, and how he lived.

The pattern is that when someone you love, or who greatly inspired you, leaves this earth—you begin to realize that you want to become someone who fills the void of their goodness within the earth. They must not be forgotten. Convictions grow stronger. Changes are made. Others are inspired.

And in pondering this, I thought to myself—this must be how the disciples felt when Jesus died. And it broke me. 

I have never seen my Savior or LORD face to face. I did not walk with Him as the dirt dusted our feet along a journey to a new city that would come to know His greatness. I never sat with Him personally, shoulder to shoulder, to be mentored. I don’t know how He wrote letters or notes. But upon the history written in scripture, I know Him.

And I think this is exactly how his friends and disciples felt after He died. And of course in His case, He rose again. 

Within each one of them, it was as if a fire were shut up inside of them. They did not have to be convinced of conviction and to act upon it. They loved Him so much that when they thought of Him, they lived better. They filled the void that was left. They told everyone about Him, and they wanted them to fill the void too.

Do I love Him this way? Do I miss my Lord so much that I want to take His place until He returns? This is the way—this is the que
He was one of the most brilliant writers in the wo He was one of the most brilliant writers in the world. A true agrarian heart with wisdom that surpasses so much of this current generation. I recommend every book he has written, especially The Unsettling of America. 

We used his “Peace of Wild Things” poem on one of our @homesteadersofamerica tshirts one year. It feels appropriate to share it again now. 

“When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives might be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief.  I come into the presence  of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.”
 
From The Selected Poems of Wendell Berry (Counterpoint, 1999)

May he be resting in peace, even now.
There is a question I believe modern homesteaders There is a question I believe modern homesteaders need to start asking:

“Are we moving because God told us to move—or because fear told us to run?”

Historically, governments have displaced, relocated, incentivized, and concentrated populations for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes by force. Sometimes through policy. Sometimes under the banner of “progress,” “safety,” or the greater good.

My own family was affected by this one-hundred years ago when hundreds of families (2,000+ people) were removed from the mountains of Virginia to create Shenandoah National Park. These were farmers, families, churches, and communities. People who knew how to grow food, steward land, raise children, and live largely independent of government systems.
And now, nearly 100 years later, I find myself watching another migration.

Homesteaders are leaving states they believe no longer represent their values. They’re moving toward states considered more conservative, more rural, more affordable, or more “free.”

And I know that for many, God really IS moving them.
But we still need discernment. Because politics can change overnight.

Governors change. Legislatures change. Laws change. The “safe state” today may not be the safe state tomorrow.
So what happens then? Do we pack up and move again?
There comes a point when we have to ask:
“Has God called me to leave—or has He called me to stand?”

If God tells you to move to Texas, go to Texas.
If He tells you to move to New York, go to New York.

Because ultimately, our security was never supposed to be found in a red state, a blue state, a rural county, or a particular zip code.

Our safety is in the hand of Yahweh.

Sometimes obedience means going, sometimes obedience means staying.

But what if, maybe, some of this is all just the government herding people like sheep into certain locations? 

🌿 Comment DISPLACED and I’ll send it to your inbox!
Our last two babies have been intense. Meaning—the Our last two babies have been intense. Meaning—they are non-stop and never sleep. Ever. I was awake all night last night, and maybe got an hour of sleep. This is nightly. This will be the longest stretch with no sleep, as the older of the two was weaned by now and started transitioning to sleeping on her own at this age.

Is it hard? Yes. Did I almost start crying last night because I was so exhausted physically and mentally? Yes. Did I think about hurting my children? Never. Not once. Not ever. 

The trend that I’m seeing online right now of mothers hurting their children is heart breaking—not for the mother, but for the children. I can sympathize greatly with the stresses of life, but I cannot understand hurting a child…ever. 

Society has a “me” problem. A generation of people who grew up either entitled or as orphans in their own home, and all they can think about is “how can you take care of ME”. They don’t want to face reality like an adult. At some point in adulthood, when we become parents, we don’t get that privilege anymore. We become the nurturer, not always the nurtured.

So when I see the tik tok trend where a mother is pouring water on her screaming 8 month old, and just keeps doing it with the baby distressed, all because she “stands” with a mother who supposedly killed her children, it doesn’t take long for me to realize there’s a demonic agenda sweeping the nation and world right now. Abortion wasn’t good enough—the enemy needs ALL of them dead. And he will make you sympathize with murder and fits of rage in the process.

Women in our society have an idle and idol problem. Idle hands with nothing to do but scroll and compare instead of build a home (her job and role). Idol because we live in a culture that pushes “self” before selflessness. 

The world needs Jesus. 
Younger women need older women. 
Families need to return to the core of the home life.
Husbands and wives need to return to bearing the burden together.

Children are a gift and inheritance—never a burden. Does it mean you’ll be tired? Yes. But it is just a season, friend. And that season passes us by so quickly.

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