Somewhere along the way, I found love, and the daintiness came…and the “don’t depend on a man” flew out the front door.
“I’m teaching you how to do this, so that if one day I can’t do it, or I’m not on earth to do it anymore, you won’t have to depend on another man to do it for you.“
My husband works his butt off, so please don’t insult him, or myself, by even allowing that thought to cross your mind. Lazy—are you kidding me? He works more than most men in this world. He works rain or shine. He works even when he is in so much pain that he can’t stand himself. But he knows there’s work to be done…he knows he has to provide for our family…and he loves what he does.
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. I homestead by myself. Granted, it’s not a big homestead. No, we don’t have a field full of cattle or pigs or larger livestock. But even on a small homestead, there is work to be done. And often times, it’s hard work.
If I’m sick, I still have to homestead by myself. If I’m in pain, I still homestead by myself. Now, he did take care of things when I had wrist surgery. And if I weren’t here to do it, he certainly would. But that’s beside the point.
But what you don’t realize is that homesteading wasn’t ever his dream. And guess what, I’m ok with that. Why? Because I am a strong, independent woman. And more than anything, I take PRIDE in knowing that I CAN do it myself. That I don’t have to depend on a man to help me, to validate me, or to cheer me on.
I started this journey to create a better lifestyle for my family—healthier living, natural remedies, food from our own back yard. Whether he helped me or not.
We compromise. Big time. It’s all part of marriage.
He doesn’t want backyard barn animals, but I do. And he would do anything to make me happy. I don’t like some of his hobbies and the money he spends on things he loves, but guess what, I have an $800 chicken coop sitting outside, and another $300+ in rabbit hutches….and lets not count the price of the animals, feed, and more. I think I can let him spend some money on the things he loves too!
And for goodness sake, stop trying to talk them into it if they don’t want to do it. What’s stopping you from doing what you can?
Just because it’s your dream, doesn’t mean it’s his. How would you feel if someone forced their labor intensive dreams on you?
Because I’m just me. This is me. I love my family. This is about my family. This isn’t just about me.
Most days my strong personality is far too much for other women. And I get it. I truly do. But I refuse to apologize.
The next time you see a strong, independent woman with a load on her back all by herself…thank her.
Amy K. Fewell is an author, family herbalist, entrepreneur, homesteader, and homemaker. Living in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains, her and her family live a natural homesteading lifestyle where they promote self-sufficiency and liberty. Amy is the founder of the Homesteaders of America organization and annual events. You can discover more on this website and at homesteadersofamerica.com