He’s tugging on my shirt, asking for attention.
The phone is ringing off the hook — twenty different directions were facing me the other morning.
I wasn’t sure what to tackle first, the five loads of laundry in the hallway or putting the phone down (for the eighteenth time) and getting into the word…something I should do more than I do….normally I choose laundry.
And then those words were uttered…words no one wants to hear…
Those words when a friend calls you up and says, “I’m telling you this because I’m a friend, and you should know what they are saying about you….”
It happens often, especially when you choose the field of work that I have…but to hear it from someone else, not work related…
I almost lost my job…and my sanity…
But the most amazing thing happened.
For the very first time in my entire life, I completely handed it over to God.
The outcome was amazing, and still rings true to my heart today. It was a much needed lesson in forgiveness, self control, and knowing my identity in Christ.
My life is dependent upon what Jesus thinks of me.
I do not need to give an account of my life to anyone other than Him.
I do not need to explain my every move, motive, or life choice.
I can’t say that this time last year I would have had the same reaction of grace that I did. But the only reason I did this week is because of the grace that’s been shown to me by others in my situation.
It takes a true friend to realize that your blog posts are raw…and real…which is what I always intended my blogs to be. But it takes an amazing person, a true sister in Christ, to respond to them…
“….I totally understand what you’re saying. I just wanted you to know you are never alone in your struggles. I can’t say every mom goes through it, but I know I sure do. I often say lent is kicking my butt…and well what I mean by that is that God is gently giving me palm to forehead slaps of (duh) and showing a mirror to my soul. I am learning, and darn if some of the changes that I feel He wants are not what I expected. I heard someone say the other day to see the wounds of Christ in others. It is a great way for you to see we are all sinners. When we see stupid moments….
Let me know if there is anything I can do to help in anyway 🙂 Today is going to be a good day.”
I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing and paraphrasing, but I want her to know just how much her short little message impacted my soul in such an incredible way.
When I created Boogers and Jesus, I created it as a way for me to be “me”. As a way to share my struggles failures, alongside my successes and praises.
If you know me, I mean, truly know me….then you know that this blog is close to my heart. If I have learned something the hard way…or if I feel like I should share the knowledge of God…wouldn’t it be against me if I did not?
Wouldn’t it be my fault, my downfall, if I weren’t real? If I weren’t obedient in “preaching the gospel”?
In case you didn’t know, in order to preach the gospel, you must speak…..not just with your life.
And if I can touch someones heart…if my struggles, joys, and learning journey to Christ can help someone else…even just one person….it’s worth it to me…
The fact that my friend took the time to respond and say, “hey, you’re not alone, I understand the hardships of motherhood, homemaking, being a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sibling…and everything else…”
…my heart is full.
As you keep reading in my recent posts, God has really been working on my heart recently. My heart had gotten so hard in certain situations over the past few years. It eventually became something that was just a part of me.
I was talking to my husband the other morning and he randomly said, “…but none of this matters, none of what is said matters, because you know who you are in Christ and are secure that He is your rock and foundation, that He is your refuge and your truth…”
…and it clicked.
It took this week to make me realize that, I am not that person anymore….
I am not who they say I am. No matter how much they may believe it…
I am who Christ says I am.
I am who He is molding me to become.
I am a sinner, just like you. And I think I’ve done a good job at exposing that these past few months on here.
I have real struggles, real hurts, real pains, real hardships…
I have real joys, real happiness, real love, real grace.
I am no longer the wounds, but the grace.
I am no longer my past, but His future.
I am no longer bound by chains of anger, bitterness, frustration, pride, guilt, neglect…
I am REDEEMED.
I cannot expect people to understand the changes in my life, and I can’t expect people to be nice in every situation either….
But I can expect to be persecuted.
I can expect stumbling blocks and trials.
I can expect hardships and frustrations.
I can expect tests of my daily lifestyle and faith.
But the fruit of the Spirit in all of these trials should be love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control.
And in the end, his little hands are still tugging on my shirt, asking for attention.
The phone is still ringing off the hook, emails are flying in, distractions run rampant.
But then he grabs my face and says “mommy, I have something to tell you…”
And I remember…
I remember my calling.
I remember His love.
I remember my priorities.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17