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Amy K Fewell | Homesteading for the Kingdom

Amy K Fewell | Homesteading for the Kingdom

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When God is Silent….

May 29, 2014 · In: devotional, motherhood

It happens to all of us at some point in our lives. Some of us more than others….

That drowning feeling that God doesn’t listen…

…that God doesn’t answer prayers.
…that God doesn’t care.

…that God doesn’t understand my needs, my wants, my heartache.

…that if God cared so much about me, He would make me a better person, a better friend, a better wife, a better mother, a better Christian.

…that God doesn’t care about me as much as I thought He did, otherwise, He wouldn’t let these things happen.

…that God doesn’t speak to me, answer me, or hold me close.

It happens to all of us.

But what if He does….

What if, in the midst of our struggles, our heartache, our pain, or daily life….what if He is speaking to us, answering us, loving us, caring for us?

I always hear the phrase, “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.”. I’ve even had people tell me it’s in the Bible.

….it’s not.

The scripture that people often refer to for this quote is 1 Corinthians 10:13. It’s a great scripture, but it’s speaking of sin, not of the non-sin related struggles we deal with — death, pain, sickness, a broken heart…

In fact, it’s just the opposite.

God promises heartache, suffering, pain, persecution, hatred.

Some God, huh?

Actually, He’s amazing.

Because even during those quiet moments when you think you can’t go on….your heart still beats.

Even during those moments when your heart literally feels like it’s going to ache out of your chest…your lungs still take in air. Breathing in and out.

In….and….out….

Your heart knows why it’s beating…

Your lungs know why they are breathing…

And the fact that your fragile body is still functioning on its own, it should be enough for you to realize how much of a miracle you really are. You’re still here…..we still have a purpose.

And yet, He is still silent…..

…and you’re still questioning His reasoning and purpose through every struggle.

Here’s the mind blowing thing…

“‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,’ says the Lord.
‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
‘For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.'”
  

[Isaiah 55:8-11] 

And then we get to Paul…oh, Paul….

“Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” [2 Corinthians 12:8-10]

Paul says in Philippians 4:13, that he can do all things through Christ.

Or what about John 15:5 where Jesus says “without Me, you can do nothing”….

Breathing in…..breathing out….heart still beating….

Paul knew it….

“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” [Ephesians 3]

God will give us more than we can handle. Often….

We have a God that loves to love us, cherish us, give to us, and heal us. We have a God that performs miracles today, just as He did 2,000 years ago. We have a God who saves us more times than we can count, because, after all, He wouldn’t be protecting us if we were always confronted with what He’s protecting us from.

He still answers prayers. Even yours…

He still loves you.

He still hears you.

He still cares.

But His purpose has never, ever, changed.

….to bring glory to the name of Jesus…that He would be glorified through it all. Even when He is silent…

…to bring others into the knowledge of Christ, so that one day, they can enter through those pearly gates right along with us.

It’s hard to think about when we’re so selfish. We were born with the need to be needed…to be taken care of….to be loved. But have we forgotten what our purpose really is?

Your story can change someone’s life. That doesn’t mean you have to accept it. That doesn’t mean you don’t get to mourn, get angry, have a little talk with God about “why me”.

But it does mean you have to get back up. You have to fight the good fight…run the good race. It does mean that you are called to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, even when you don’t want to be.

Your situation doesn’t define your identity in Christ.
Your situation refines your identity in Christ.

The quote above, “….even when God is silent”, speaks so much to my heart. The quote was found on the walls of a concentration camp. I can imagine it was scribbled there by the fragile, dirt caked hands of a Jewish man or woman….wondering when their last breath would be….where their children are….when their God would save them.

And in that moment, they felt their heart beating….their lungs rising….up and down….and they remembered….

Maya Angelou once said, “Listen to yourself, and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God.”

God does allow more than we can handle. The world gives us more than we can handle. And the hardest moments are the ones when the world is ringing so loudly in our ears that we can’t hear our hearts beating through the noise.

The hardest moments are the one’s where, we have forgotten about God…and yet we’re the ones who think He’s left us….we’re the ones who think He’s not answering.

But through Him, we have strength.

We have peace.

We have joy.

We have purpose.

So through it all, even when I am weak, even when the world piles it on….I will boast all the more gladly….because when I am weak, He is strong.

Through it all, I will aim to glorify God. Because after all, that is all He asks of me.

Through it all, I will remember that, maybe He is silent because I stopped listening.

…and maybe, just maybe, He is silent…because He is listening….

…and at the end of my days, no matter what the hurt, the pain, the heartache, the struggles….it will all fade away when He whispers in my ear…. “well done, my good and faithful servant”….

….well done….

To the mother watching her child lay in a hospital bed, wondering when his last breath will be. Stretched to the max with tired eyelids and a broken heart. Whispering fragile prayers of miraculous healing that hasn’t yet come….

To the grandmother aching with pain from cancer, but still singing praises through it all….

To the sister watching her siblings family do a nose dive away from Christ, don’t go that way, soaking her pillow with tears every single evening, and ending her prayer with “be glorified”…

To the wife who just watched her husband walk out of their front door for the very last time, wishing she would have kissed him instead of yelling at him….there will be no more kisses…or yelling….as she quietly bows her head in mourning…. “Your ways are not my ways…there must be a reason”….

To the woman sitting in her bedroom, hanging her head, questioning her purpose…“I’m a bad mother, I’m a bad wife, why me, Lord?”….who suddenly feels her heart beating and her mind at ease….and she praises Him…gets up…and starts a brand new day.

…well done, good and faithful servant….well done….

 

By: Amy K. Fewell · In: devotional, motherhood · Tagged: bible study, Christian living, devotional, God, unanswered prayers

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I'm Amy. I love organic food but I love cookies too. I love Jesus and His grace. I believe broken people make the biggest impact in the world when Jesus makes them whole, and when they share their stories. I believe in stories, and I'm sharing mine.

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@amy.fewell

This is your reminder to become a student of the w This is your reminder to become a student of the word, not just a hearer. You can sit in church your entire life and hear someone preach, but that is not the same as doing deep dives into the word yourself. That feeling when you read and a thought pops into your head “what does that mean?” Priceless. The thread begins to unravel as you research and try to understand more. 

One of those things for me this week has been studying Melchizedek. If you were to only read the Old Testament account of Melchizedek, there wouldn’t be much to know. But combined with the New Testament, and the ancient writings and documentation of this incredible “king”, the picture becomes more clear. 

It becomes most clear in Hebrews, as the writer begins to unpackage the parallel of Melchizedek and Jesus—both high priests appointed by God. But interestingly, Melchizedek was a high priest centuries before the levitical priesthood was ever established. This is why scripture says that “Levi was still in the loins of Abraham”, and Melchizedek existed long before Levi was even born or established as priestly.

God has had me sitting in Genesis for a few weeks. It’s a book we feel like we know well, but until we dive deeply into it, do we know it well, or do we know it how someone else taught it in that one hour Sunday sermon 10 years ago? I’ve sat in Genesis for 2 weeks now and I’m barely halfway through. 

It may seem unimportant—what does Melchizedek matter to Christian’s now? Why do Adam, Noah, and Abraham’s covenant matter now? But they matter greatly. Because they are mirrored in the New Testament church—the priestly kingdom that God established. If you don’t understand Melchizedek, and the fact that he was before and outside of the established tribes of Israel, and appointed long before that, then you won’t understand the correlation between a religion of tradition versus a relationship and worship in freedom. 

It is not the levitical priest that Jesus is compared to—it is the priest of the order of Melchizedek. And that’s important. It’s important in how we believe, how we perceive, and how we advance and take dominion. 

I hope to write deeply about this soon.
There are a lot of new faces here over the last we There are a lot of new faces here over the last week due to a post that went semi-viral (about Yahweh calling back the shepherds). So I thought I’d take a minute to introduce myself, since so many of you followed me from content that is only a part of what myself and this page is about. 

My name is Amy. I am first and foremost, unapologetically, a follower and disciple of Jesus Christ. That fact motivates and touches every single other aspect of who I am and what I do. 

I am secondly a wife and mother (of 4). I’ve been married to my best friend for almost 21 years. We have seen just about every high and low, and came out stronger on the other side every single time. We walked through 9 years of secondary infertility, and suddenly God healed me and we welcomed 3 more littles to the crew in less than 7 years. Naturally. 

I grew up Baptist in the early years, then Pentecostal/charismatic. Now—I just follow Jesus. I’ve seen it all—the religion/tradition (on both sides), the good/bad/ugly, the miraculous.

My career was in media/newspapers/marketing before 2016. Then in 2016 I founded an organization called @homesteadersofamerica — where we teach people (and the kingdom) to take back the land, food and health system, the home, government and more. We are building the parallel system to the broken one. We’ve maxed out our annual October event at the current venue—6,000+ people each day.

We host the @homesteadrevivalnow events at our October event, where people encounter the Spirit of God, receive baptism and salvation, are encouraged by the word, and equipped to keep going. 

And most recently we started @thechurchstorehouse , where we are equipping the body of Christ and helping others start gatherings, church plants, refine their current church set up, and build places of refuge for times ahead. 

I’m a worshipper, entrepreneur, have lead in the church and churches, master herbalist, milk maid, author, coffee lover.

Those are just the cliff notes. 

Welcome to my corner of the internet. I pray it encourages, motivates, and spurs you on towards the everlasting goal of the kingdom. ❤️‍🔥
We’ve reached that time in the summer where it’s a We’ve reached that time in the summer where it’s almost fall but still hot outside. And we just need to see a glimpse of autumn showing up in our coffee!

So I’m just over here not using commercially processed creamers and instead using raw cream and infused maple syrups! 

I highly recommend @highlowfarm ‘s vanilla and cinnamon infused syrups, @shepherdscrookcoffee for all your farm coffee needs, and don’t forget that @showalterhomeandforge copper cream ladle 😍

You CAN buy and support your local homesteaders in EVERY way! Check out some of these folks at their vendor booths at the October @homesteadersofamerica conference!
The Senate farm bill got shut down in committee. 1 The Senate farm bill got shut down in committee. 10–11. Party line. Shocker! It’s only 🙄 been since 2018 that we could pass an actual farm bill.

Heres what happened:

The Senate Ag Committee met Thursday to mark up the Agricultural Act of 2026—Chairman Boozman’s “Farm Bill 2.0.” Two Republicans were absent: McConnell, recovering from “illness”, and Tuberville, unexplained. Their proxy votes didn’t count. Democrats voted as a bloc. It failed to advance.

The sticking point wasn’t corn, cattle, or conservation. It was SNAP—specifically, how long states get before they start paying a share of benefit costs. Boozman says one year is the most leadership will accept. Klobuchar says two. That’s the standoff. Ridiculous considering this is all because there is so much corruption in the SNAP aid program. 

Sit with that a minute. The last full five-year farm bill was signed in 2018. Everything since has been extensions and provisions stapled onto spending bills. And what’s holding up credit access, crop insurance updates, more food freedoms,  and FSA loan limits is a one-year versus two-year phase-in on a nutrition program. For real?

What it means for you: nothing changes tomorrow. Programs keep running under existing authority. But “nothing changes” is exactly the problem when input costs, land prices, food access, and rates have moved this much since 2018. Uncertainty is a cost. You just can’t put it on a balance sheet.

Boozman recessed the committee rather than adjourning—a signal he means to vote again in September. Even if it clears then, it needs 60 on the floor. Without a SNAP deal, it doesn’t have them.

The lesson underneath all of it: don’t build your food security on a bill. Build it on your ground, your neighbors, and your skills. Legislation is worth watching. It was never worth waiting on.
I have personally wrestled with the Lord over this I have personally wrestled with the Lord over this topic for months.

Earlier this year, someone asked why we were still hosting fellowship dinners at our home.
My answer was simple:
“Because I refuse to let the sheep scatter again.”

We have watched people leave churches wounded, lonely, and without accountability. Some find healthy places to land. Others simply go through the motions while still feeling empty and unseen.

And it grieves me. More importantly, I believe it grieves Jesus.
Recently, I finally said to a friend, “I think I need to write this out. God is calling back the shepherds.”

And not in the way you may think.

The word translated as “pastor” in the New Testament is poimēn.

It means shepherd.
Not platform speaker.
Not church-building manager.

Biblical shepherds lived among the flock. They knew the sheep by name. They found food and water, recognized danger, fought predators, rescued the wandering, and understood when it was time to move.

They were gentle, but they were not fragile.
They carried lambs, but they also fought lions and bears.
The rod was not used to beat the sheep. It was used to fight off predators.

The staff was not used to control them. It was used to guide and rescue them. And when the wolf came, the shepherd stayed.

Somewhere along the way, we reduced shepherding to preaching a sermon and managing an institution. But biblical shepherding was always more intimate, costly, discerning, and involved than that.

I believe the Lord is about to (or already is beginning to) reform the ministry of the shepherd within the Body of Christ. And do not be surprised when those shepherds do not look the way the religious institution expects.

They may be farmers, homesteaders, mothers, fathers, or people who are perceived as rough around the edges. They may never stand behind a pulpit.

But they will gather around tables, dwell among the people, protect the flock, confront the wolves, and refuse to let the sheep scatter again.

He is calling back the shepherds.

🐑 Comment SHEPHERD and I’ll send the full article to your inbox.

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